That boy I mentioned on an earlier post? My crush from primary school? We'll call him Raja.
Well, I had a chat to him on facebook the other night, it was great! He still has that cheeky sense of humour that I adored. It just seems so strange to me, because it's someone that I never ever expected to hear from again, and yet along comes facebook! There are times that I don't like facebook, but it's times like this that I love it.
Now, if only Falcon Errill would join!
"If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life"
Oscar Wilde.
I saw this quote today in a store and for a moment the irrational, emotional part of me thought that it could be true. I, however, am not an entirely irrational person, so I know it's far from true. I'll only wait until someone equal or better comes along.
I've been great again lately, so maybe this crap lasts for shorter periods now. I didn't miss the fact that he didn't call the other day.
Boys boys boys!
In relation to that recent post, I had a Falcon Errill dream last night! He was all growed up and still totally sexy :D
Also, the boy I had a crush on for like two years in primary school just friended me on facebook. He looks like he's doing well! Man, he was the most adorable kid ever.
That perhaps I am just so much more susceptible to this at the moment because of the other stress I'm experiencing right now. The worst times always were when I could have used some emotional support the most. I hope that is the case, otherwise it's just all the way back to square one, after I thought I had come so far. I'll just put it down to emotional self-control not being my strong point when I'm under this much pressure.
*sigh*
There are only three people that I have been involved with heavily enough to affect my subconscious to the extent that I have, or have had in the past, recurring realistic dreams about them.
The first to have this affect on me we'll call Salters Nelson. He brings me dreams of being trapped, of anxiety, of not being able to escape. I had those dreams for a long time, even up to five years after the fact, but now they are few and far between, and I can't remember the last time I had one. I'm glad to see the back of them.
The second we'll call Falcon Errill. He brings me dreams of lust and sex. I like those ones, and have had them relatively recently, which is at least 6 years after the fact. I think of him sometimes, and would like to know how things turned out for him.
The third needs no introduction. He brings me dreams of love. Always unrequited, except for that very first dream. Those ones leave me utterly despondent and broken with yearning when I wake. It would probably be for the best if they went away, but somehow I still don't want them to, and I doubt whether they will any time soon.
